


Karaoke Night

by fangirlingbooknerd



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, M/M, Slice of Life, and they love each other, haus 2.0, karaoke night, mentions of the mysterious roommate in the haus 2.0, playlist at the end, shitty is a really good singer, theres holsom if you squint, theyre all idiots but i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 18:07:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20068318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlingbooknerd/pseuds/fangirlingbooknerd
Summary: The day Shitty bought a karaoke machine was probably the worst day of the mysterious Haus 2.0 roommate’s life. For the rest of the crew, it was easily one of the best.The Samwell gang has a karaoke competition and probably gets at least three noise complaints in the process.





	Karaoke Night

**Author's Note:**

> The cheesy karaoke fic that I love to read. Please rec your favorites in the comments.

The day Shitty bought a karaoke machine was probably the worst day of the mysterious Haus 2.0 roommate’s life. For the rest of the crew, it was easily one of the best.

Shitty, Ransom, and Holster spent a solid two hours trying to set it up before Lardo swooped in and figured it out in fifteen minutes. The machine was an old piece of junk that Shitty found in... actually it’s better if that’s left unsaid. But, it worked, and that’s all that mattered. 

“Friday night. We invite Jack and Bitty and the rest of them. Karaoke night in Haus 2.0. Bitty will definitely bring a pie for each of us.” Shitty pointed to each of them to accentuate his point.“In the mean time,” he grinned, “let’s practice.” 

After two songs, the roommate informed them that she would be leaving in two months after her contract expires. Oh well!

_X_ 

Mysterious roommate left the apartment right as Jack arrived. She glared at him as she stomped out, leaving Jack confused. Shitty leaped on him for a hug and explained, “she heard us practicing for our night of EPICNESS and now she hates us.” 

Jack laughed. “Thought she always hated you?”

“Touché, brother, fucking touché. Now get in here, the rest of these fuckers miss you.” 

The rest of the team came in a big pack, all of them coming from Samwell together. Honestly, one of them should’ve expected the chaos that unfolded, but they were blissfully oblivious. 

It all started with Nursey trying to rile Dex up. “So what lame ass song are you gonna perform? Doesn’t matter because mine is gonna be a million times better.” 

“Oh, yeah? With whatever weird indie music you last listened to that probably has less than a thousand plays on Spotify? No chance in hell that you have a better performance.” 

“Wanna bet?” 

That got Shitty’s attention. “YES! Okay we are SO making this a competition! Can’t wait to beat all your asses.”

“How do you make karaoke into a competition,” Jack questioned. 

“Easy,” Lardo replied, coming to stand next to Shitty. “We rate each other 1 to 10 for each performance. Highest score at the end of the night wins.”

Holster made a noise from where he was smushed up against Ransom. “We’re gonna need a calculator if the numbers go that high. Just make it five.” 

Ransom laughed. “You literally have a degree in economics but you can’t do simple addition in your head?” 

“Shut up, just admit I’m right.” 

“Okay,” Lardo interjected, “we’ll do five. Everyone start thinking of songs as Shitty and I set up the machine.” 

“Me? What do you need me for?”

“Eye candy and moral support.”

As the two started to set up the machine, everyone else filed in around the TV. There really wasn’t enough room for everyone so the seating got a little smushed. Jack claimed one couch cushion, sitting with Bitty on his lap. Dex and Nursey smushed into the other couch seats, trying not to sit near each other, but having no room to move apart. Chowder perched on the arm rest on Nursey’s side of the couch. Ransom and Holster claimed the love seat, obviously. That left Shitty to take the recliner, Lardo on the armrest. Well, that’s where she’d eventually sit, but she was first up for karaoke. 

Someone had put out a bunch of strips of paper, clearly hand torn, to keep score. They were on the coffee table, along with a bunch of different hats to put all the scores into. The group decided that they wanted to keep all scores a surprise until the end. 

“Alright!” Everyone’s heads snapped to Lardo. “I’m up first. I bet you’re expecting me to do some weird artsy song that’s less music more spoken word poetry. But, I’ll leave that shit to Nursey.” This got a round of laughs, even from Nursey, mostly from Dex. “Instead, I’m doing a classic.” 

There was confusion for the first couple seconds as the weird video game noises played, but as soon as the guitar started, everyone knew what song it was. Lardo stood with her back to the audience, waiting for the vocals to turn around. “I don’t give a damn about my reputation! Living in the past, it’s a new generation!” 

Holster groaned when he heard how good her vocals were. She was gonna be a tough one to beat… and she was just the first person up. 

Towards the end of the song, she jumped on the table, going full rock chick. “I don’t give a damn about my reputation! The world’s in trouble, there’s no communication!” She danced around the table, careful to side step the hats and cups on there already. Ransom didn’t think it was possible to make an air guitar look cool. He was wrong. On the final part of the song, Lardoturned again so her back was facing the audience, and jumped to the ground. She landed back in the pose she started the song as the final note cut off. It was a pretty perfect performance. 

Her applause was huge, and she smugly sat on the armrest by Shitty. “So, who’s brave enough to follow that?”

Holster jumped up. “You literally did a song from Shrek, I’m not afraid. Let’s fucking go. Any chance I can do a duet?” 

Ransom excitedly said yes, while everyone else screamed NO! “Alright, alright, I’ll do a solo piece.” He glanced at Lardo. “One NOT from Shrek.” 

“Oh shut up and sing already.” 

Holster smirked. “If there’s a price for rotten judgment,” he began, as everyone in the room sighed in defeat. Who didn’t LOVE Hercules? And more importantly, who didn’t love this song? He looked up as he sang the lines from the Muses, clearly signaling the change in character. 

Ransom, ever the supportive friend, pulled out his phone and turned on his flashlight about halfway through the song. Quickly, the rest of the friends pulled theirs out too, waving their hands back and forth to the music. 

Holster finished the performance by sitting back down the loveseat, leaning on Ransom, and pretending to swoon. “At least out loud, I won’t say I’m in… looooooove.” 

Ransom gave him the biggest hug and whooped, as the rest of the team clapped. “Bro, that was beautiful.”

Holster pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. “Thanks, bro, it really,” he pretended to be choked up “really means a LOT.” 

Ransom wiped the fake tear from his eye. “I hate to have to completely overshadow it like this, but it must be done.” 

Holster sat up. “Oh really?”

“Yeah, I’ve decided that I’m not playing to win since everyone here is so good. Which means I can pick whatever song I want.” 

He chose “Tequila.” Fucking “Tequila.” The instrumental song, with one word. He stood there completely straight faced during the instrumental part, and everyone leaned forward to see how he would sing the ONLY line. Instead, he let the part pass, and go “oh, whoops, I missed it.” Everyone screamed. But, he screamed it when it came up again so they clapped for him anyway. 

Nursey piped up when the song was over. “That was a bold choice, and I respect that.” He held his hand out for a fist bump. 

Chowder stood up from his armrest. “Can I go next?” 

He grinned as he got to the front of the room. “I also don’t think I’m going to win, so I’ve decided to be the most memorable performance of the night.” He grinned almost evilly, if Chowder was even capable of such a thing. “This song is very on brand, and also the worst thing I’ve ever heard! Enjoy!” 

The entire team has never wanted to die as much in their lives. Chowder was adorable, and he had all the right dance moves, but “Baby Shark” gets obnoxious after the first line. At first, they tried to join with the dance, but slowly they all dropped out and admitted defeat. Chowder laughed as the song finished. 

Bitty looked up at him, taking his face out of his hands. “Chowder… my sweet baby Chowder… if you do that again I’m disowning you.” Chowder just laughed and went back to his seat. 

Bitty stood up. “I guess I’ll go now, I need to erase that from my mind.” He paused. “I know y’all are probably expecting me to do a Beyonce song, but I’m in it to win it. I’m sure y’all have heard my Beyonce renditions in the shower enough to know that my vocals are not anywhere near the goddess herself. So, I’m doing a song that y’all might not know, but hopefully will like.” 

“I was just coasting, never really going anywhere. Caught up in a web, I was getting pretty used to staying there,” he sang. The crowd didn’t make any reactions yet, so either they didn’t know it or didn’t recognize it yet. Bitty pushed on towards the chorus, certain that at least one person HAD to know Kacey Musgraves. 

“Now you’re lifting me up, instead of holding me down.” He danced to the chorus, lifting up Jack’s chin for “up” and then spinning and sitting on his lap for “down.” “Stealing my heart, instead of stealing my crown.” He put his hand on Dex’s heart for “heart” and brushed his hair back for “crown.” Dex blushed. Bitty continued around the room, serenading people with lines as he sings through the song. Nursey recognized the song and by the second chorus, he was mouthing the words back to Bitty, and by the third he was slow dancing with Bitty while looking at Jack every five seconds to make sure Jack wasn’t mad. On the penultimate “you give me butterflies,” Nursey twirled Bitty back into Jack’s lap with a smile. On the final one, Bitty sang to Jack, and just about the whole room melted. 

The spell lasted for about ten seconds until they all stated screaming “FINE!! THAT’S GOTTA BE A FINE, RIGHT? FFFFFFOOOOOIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!!” 

“If we’re getting a fine anyway, might as well make it worth it,’ Bitty said as he leaned up to kiss Jack, tossing the microphone to the side. It bounced off of Dex’s lap, into Nursey’s. 

“The karaoke gods have spoken. It is my duty to perform next,” Nursey said dramatically as he stood. Dex rolled his eyes. “Now I was shaded earlier in Ms. Duan’s performance, as she said that I listen to weird artsy indie music. So, in honor of breaking expectations like Mr. Bittle has, I will be performing the exact opposite of artsy indie music.” 

The room grinned as they heard the opening notes. “Oh I just wanna take you anywhere that you like! We could go out any day, any night. Baby I’ll take you there, take you there, baby I’ll take you there.” Nursey already took the serenade approach, but instead just focused on Dex, loving how hard he blushed. (The two of them had been secretly together for about a week, so he was blushing harder than usual. But neither of them worried about the rest of the team suspecting anything. This is something that Nursey would’ve done regardless of his relationship status.) 

On the second chorus, Nursey decided to be funny and sing “so tell me, Dex, if every time we touch…” instead of “so tell me girl…” Nursey hoped he was getting the question across to Dex. _Can we tell them? _

On the last line of “and let me kiss you” Nursey brought his face close to Dex’s, telling him to make the decision. Nursey was probably the most stunned person in the room when Dex actually kissed him. Their friends lost their shit. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Lardo spoke up after five minutes of chaos, “we can’t count the kiss into his performance score because that’s gonna unfairly skew things.” 

Nursey threw a piece of balled up paper at her, but nodded. “It’s only fair. Dex and I are just too powerful together. You guys wouldn’t stand a chance.” 

This started another round of the jeering, before Bitty loudly said, “hey, Jack, why don’t you go?” 

Everyone swiveled to face him. Jack sighed. “Alright, mon lapin. For you.” He kissed Bitty nose, and then lightly pushed Bitty forward so he could stand. 

No one really knew what to expect from Jack. Before Bitty, he knew like three songs, and Bitty had mostly just been teaching him the women of pop. Let’s be real, Jack didn’t have high enough vocals for Beyonce, or even Taylor Swift. 

They definitely weren’t expecting heavy guitar and drums. “She’s my cherry pie! Cool drink of water, such a sweet surprise! Taste so good, make a grown man cry. Sweet! Cherry! Pie!” Bitty blushed, knowing this song was for him. 

Jack’s vocals weren’t the best, but the group was so stunned from the song choice to even notice. They had expected some song that played on the Oldies easy listening station, not a rock song complete with head banging and hip thrusts. 

By the end of it, Bitty was flushed and looked properly scandalized. Shitty on the other hand, was pretending to be a groupie. “Jack! Jack Zimmermann! I’m your biggest fan! I’ll be your Cherry Pie, you delicious mother fucker!” 

Jack laughed and winked at him. Shitty pretended to swoon. “Shits, you gonna go?” 

Shitty sighed. “I don’t even know what song I want to do. Dex, go first.” 

“Oh, uhhhh, alright. Well, since no one has done an indie song yet, maybe I should. I mean it’s all Nursey plays, so I’ve learned a couple.” 

“Well I can see that Nursey has been a good influence,” Ransom teased. 

Dex sang softly for the beginning of the piece, clearly embarrassed and unsure. Even by the chorus he was practically whispering, “I wouldn’t know where to start, sweet music playing in the dark. Be still my foolish heart, don’t ruin this on me.” 

He gained confidence a little in the second verse, watching as Nursey stared at him with what can only be described as “heart eyes.” 

By the bridge, Dex was actually singing. He wasn’t half-bad, but let’s be real, Hozier was a bold choice. 

For the final choruses, Nursey started to clap along, prompting the rest of the squad to join in. Dex smiled and started giving it his all. Nursey whooped. For the final line, he dropped to a whisper and locked eyes with Nursey. “Be still my foolish heart, don’t ruin this on me.” 

The moment was ruined by Shitty shouting, “I know what I want to sing!” Dex shook his head, and handed him the microphone. No one missed how Nursey grabbed Dex’s hand as soon as he sat down. “I can’t believe you sang Hozier and didn’t sing his most iconic song.” He winked at Lardo. “This one’s for you.” He knew the was one of her top ten favorite songs of all time. 

“My lover’s got humor, she’s the giggle at a funeral. Knows everybody’s disapproval, should’ve worshipped her sooner.” Shitty sang standing mostly still, eyes closed, hands clasped together by his mouth representing a microphone. 

Everyone seemed to be in a trance, watching Shitty sing his heart out. His voice was passionate, strong, steady. He hit every note, belting where he was supposed to, letting it go soft and breathy where he was supposed to. Lardo was captivated. Whenever she played this song, he always listened silently, claiming he didn’t know the words. Lardo knew it was a lie, she played it all the time, but even she couldn’t have predicted this. 

Shitty finished with a soft smile, that quickly turned into a smug grin when he saw the way Lardo was looking at him. He knew he was getting laid tonight. 

Despite his amazing performance, Lardo still won the competition. But, seeing how excited she was (“EAT SHIT, HOLSTER! HA!”), he was more than okay with it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Lardo: Bad Reputation by Joan Jett  
Holster: I Won’t Say (I’m in Love) from the Hercules soundtrack  
Ransom: Tequila by The Champs  
Chowder: Baby Shark  
Bitty: Butterflies by Kacey Musgraves  
Nursey: Kiss You by One Direction  
Jack: Cherry Pie by Warrant  
Dex: Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier  
Shitty: Take Me To Church by Hozier


End file.
